Just Wait 'Til...

With school starting yesterday for many people, I know a lot of parents out there feeling a little bit wistful about their babies growing up. Whether it's the first day of kindergarten, the first day of high school or anywhere inbetween, it's an important new beginning every year. And with that new beginning comes the need to commiserate. We all need to do it on occasion. Whether it's something we're dealing with at work, a tough time with our kids or significant other, sore muscles from a new workout routine or whatever is challenging us at the time. Everyone has a need to just sit down and vent and whine to a friend willing to lend a sympathetic ear. But I'm curious, does anyone else get as incredibly annoyed as I do when that friend begins his/her response with the phrase "Just wait 'til..." That phrase is almost never followed with something positive like, "Just wait 'til your daughter is potty trained and then you'll save tons of money on diapers and pull ups." No, it's usually something like, "You think potty training is frustrating? Just wait 'til she is potty trained and then you have to make a mad dash to the bathroom everywhere you go." Or, "Your kid is cute now, but just wait 'til she turns 11 and is embarrassed of everything you do."

Yes, most of my examples are from parents commiserating about parenting things because I think we are the absolute worst offenders of this. There are continuous ups and downs during the parenting experience, but why do we feel the need to tell other parents of how it gets worse? What's with the one-upping? Why can't we just let someone express their frustration and just nod along or offer helpful suggestions and words of encouragement? This makes me think of the It Gets Better Movement, which began following a startling number of suicides amongst GLBT teens. Most of us are probably familiar with it, but if you're not, it's a collection of user-submitted videos featuring celebrities and everyday people sharing words of encouragement about how life gets better after the bullying and general anxiety about fitting in during high school. Why can't everyone do this for each other?

We're all guilty of it. I'm sure I've done it, but soon after I had my daughter I discovered how often we use this phrase. Let's all try to be a little more mindful of how discouraging these words are. Next time a friend is commiserating about a challenge he or she is facing, resist the urge to say anything that begins with the phrase "Just wait 'til..." Instead, remember the golden rule and find something encouraging to say.